what it feels like entering the third trimester of pregnancy: 🥺first-time at age 25!

chapters:

• all the nerves…

• potential reasons

• what I am trying

I am currently SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 6 and 7 months pregnant; closer to 7, I’d say.

Honestly, I feel like I have lost count this past month, since it feels like I have been pregnant FOR AGES now! (partly due to my shock, realising how long pregnancy actually lasts; post here).

Entering this third ERA, or trimester, of my pregnancy has felt DIFFERENT, and is something I definitely felt was worth sharing for any other girlies, going through the same…

Sharing my PERSONAL feelings, that reflect:

1. a slight shift in how positive and smooth my pregnancy has been until now (except the digesting of a VERY ROCKY-START of an unwanted pregnancy). AND HOW I am navigating this shift,

2. what potential reasons there may be,

3. and how I am trying to keep myself UP (even when there is very little energy, third trimester mamas you get me!).

all the nerves…

I don’t mean just nerves of feeling NERVOUS.

No.

It goes BEYOND that!

I mean, all the nerves, as in stepping into my third trimester of pregnancy is HITTING all the nerves (emotionally-speaking).

Not necessarily in an annoying, or lack-of-patience, way.

BUT in a “woah, I didn’t expect to start feeling such an emotional toll WEIGHING on me quite heavily”… even though I am not doing anything significantly different in my pregnancy, or routine.

Some of you girlies might pitch-in now, and say, “it’s all down to the hormones”, and yeah it might be, but I feel like there is so much more depth to that; which I will get into in the next chapter “potential reasons”!

Right now, I am about to spill on all the EMOTIONS I have been introduced to, and more strongly, in this new stage of pregnancy.

There wasn’t necessarily an overnight shift, but somehow, at some point, in the last 2 or 3 weeks, I have been starting to feel more:

• sad / upset

• just LOW. Different to sad, because sad I can sort-of pinpoint why, but “low” is just completely unwarranted.

• nervous and slightly scared. MOSTLY because of labour, slightly because of the irreversible life-change.

• pressure. Pressure to prepare my body for labour,

• trapped / limited. Hearing certain phrases in this trimester has become more common as loved ones try to manage my expectations (lovingly) but my interpretation makes me feel quite trapped to a certain narrative of motherhood that I don’t want for myself.

That SUMS IT UP, pretty much.

As you can see, all emotions I have described above, are the typical types we would categorise as being more of the “negative” KIND, even though healthy emotional regulation involves a balance of feeling ALL emotions at a given point (more happiness than anything else, we would hope for, though).

It’s NOT that I haven’t felt glimmers of happiness, peace or fulfilment in the recent weeks / start of my third trimester, BUT I have felt a LOT LESS OF IT, plus a huge new chunk of lower-vibational feelings; as the ones above.

If we were to put this on an emotional scale, I’d say it’d be tipping a lot more over on the lower-end these days!

And it’s okay to feel low from time-to-time, OF COURSE!

It’s okay to feel WHATEVER you are feeling.

Specially during the already-demanding journey that pregnancy is on ANY woman; even if you dreamed of this your whole life!

But I’m sharing my experience on this to hopefully create a space of connection and relatability for any other pregnant girlies going through it, like me.

FOR ME, I noticed these feelings happening from an ongoing pattern recently:

• going about my day; working 9-to-5, doing what I need to do for the day

• and then, AT NIGHT before sleep, I start feeling these emotions flooding-in

• usually when I am ALONE

It might be that I am feeling these during the day, but am too distracted to be aware of it…who knows?

…an emotional rollercoaster, if you will.

potential reasons

I’m sure you have a good grasp on what it’s been like, for me, entering the third trimester of pregnancy so far, by how I have been feeling.

Now, let’s get into some potential reasons why (which, honestly, are VAST).

By this, I will say one thing is for certain: I don’t have a specific reason for feeling these feelings, that I AM AWARE OF.

So I can only pin it down to ANY of the following factors:

1. hormones : a recurring reason for pretty much all significant pregnancy changes I have seen (and shared with you) so far!

2. underlying emotions of an unwanted pregnancy : may still be lingering, specially as I get closer to baby’s due date (I share the full scoop on my story here). I would say I have been quite “GOOD” emotionally since this time (mostly throughout first trimester) but it could still be there…

3. related to increased feelings of tiredness : even though I sleep well (despite the wake-ups for the bathroom to pee) I have still been finding myself MORE tired than usual, recently! My emotions might be reflecting that.

4. I’m feeling heavier and bigger : the physical load for me has DEFINITELY increased, and naturally, as my bump gets bigger, my mobility is reduced, it takes more effort to do basic tasks (like tying my shoelace), my emotional load may also be reflecting the overwhelm my physical body is experiencing; going into the third trimester.

5. going THROUGH the so-called ‘sacrifices’ of pregnancy : THIS ONE (for me) may be a MORE SIGNIFICANT reason behind my emotional rollercoaster of a ride, recently. As a woman, it is one thing to KNOW the physical, mental and emotional sacrifices and changes we go through in pregnancy, but it is ANOTHER to actually go through it! This one is all about feeling the gender gap in how different reality is, expectations are, responsibility is (as the CARRIER of the baby), and it goes on… This is a huge WEIGHT to carry, and I’m not talking about baby here, OR my physical weight…

6. approaching expected due date / labour : I would say, the fact that everything is a reminder that I am soon-approaching baby’s arrival (my body getting bigger, people reminding me, midwives advising on all the prep-advice), it definitely makes me have feelings of DREAD and DAUNTING-ness. Labour is scary, and risky, and as a result, it makes me feel scared, nervous and anxious! But besides this, I’m starting to hear more of the “you shouldn’ts” and “you can’ts” regarding motherhood, which makes me feel limited due to this narrative that I don’t associate with. Feeling like I NEED to trap myself into this box that is: giving up my WHOLE self to be a mother. It’s become more common to be exposed to this narrative by others, the closer I get to that due date…

I have gone through a whole CONCOCTION of potential reasons why I have been feeling more low, going into my third trimester of pregnancy.

NATURALLY, I have no idea which one it really is down to…

It might also be because of ALL reasons PUT TOGETHER, to varying degrees!

It might just be something we all go through during pregnancy, so it MIGHT be the most normal and common thing to feel a bit more down towards the final months of pregnancy, but nonetheless I wanted to share and see if anyone else was part of the same clurbbb? (intentionally spelling it that way ahaha).

The THIRD TRIMESTER is the time of pregnancy where we experience the most CHANGE, so I mean it might be logical to also experience the most EMOTIONAL INTENSITY, as a result, but still something that completely caught me off-guard!

what I am trying

From what I have shared so-far, you can guess (very rightly-so) that the third trimester has been the MOST challenging, EMOTIONALLY, since the decision of continuing my unwanted pregnancy (during the first trimester).

And it hasn’t even gotten to half-way through!

Most of the emotional ride I have experienced, being from both the mental AND physical tolls…

When something like this happens, in pregnancy or in life, we sometimes let ourselves just sway through the motions.

But I am all about having myself (and us girlies) take control of our narrative, in the way that we best can!

FOR ME, this manifests into reality in this situation, by me TRYING TO PICK MYSELF UP, and feel better emotionally.

Trying being a KEYword, because we all know, third-trimester energy and willingness for ANYTHING, be running real low; EVEN WITH all the sleep, nutrition and vitamins.

The ways I have been TRYING to make myself feel better are:

• allowing myself the grace to FEEL whatever emotions come to the surface : usually just before sleep, at the end of the day, when there are no distractions, and it really just COMES OUT.

• VERY occasional journaling session : talking to loved ones can help, but personally, that’s a part of me that I want to be able to self-regulate where possible, talk myself through how I am feeling and what I am thinking, and allow my interactions with loved ones to fuel my positivity instead. Also, as a Blogger, writing really be a KEY way of me expressing myself, even my emotions, so it helps me a lot! But also, sometimes I can’t even articulate WHY I am feeling low, so I just start writing and seeing what flows out of me, onto the paper. It then, also, becomes a record (like my own personal blog) to look back-on on how I felt at different stages of pregnancy, and life.

Would be better if I had all of my journaling in one cute aesthetic book though! Anyone else relate? I have everything mixed-up, everywhere! Notebooks be my own written “office” (if you will) for planning, strategising, to-do lists, journaling, etc. Maybe one day I shall have my books organised by purpose, who knows…ahaha.

• MINI glow-up : mini so that I can set myself low expectations to match whatever capacity I can show-up with! The LAST THING I want is to say I will do something, and then be too tired or upset to ACTUALLY do it!

To me, this looks like: simply creaming my body post-shower with a nice-smelling body cream, putting on a nice mascara so my lashes look done (I wrote about my perfect go-to combo here), taking-off my outgrown acrylic nails just so I can have clean nails, putting on a nice home outfit (like a cute co-ord lounge or tracksuit set), sleeking my hair-back into a ponytail (clean-girl hairstyle, which always helps me feel put-together!).

• small daily acts of joy : these are things I ALWAYS try to fit into my days, and life, but SPECIALLY being more intentional with it when I feel a bit more low or sad. Doing something tiny that makes you happy, drags you out of that pit of low-energy, a tiny bit at-a-time, and has the POWER to really redirect how you feel, how your day goes, and how your weeks and life go!

EXAMPLES FOR ME are like: making myself or buying myself my favourite vanilla oat coffee / matcha, eating a big yummy plate of nutritious food (homecooked OR takeaway!), taking some time to watch my favourite show (even if just one episode) or my favourite Youtuber (Fernanda Ramirez or Tam Kaur, of course! absolute girl’s girls).

These are my PERSONAL ways that work for me.

Take inspiration, or simply try these out, if you have no idea where to begin, but what matters is that once you find something that really lights YOU up, even if just a little; don’t forget it, ACT ON IT (even if just for 5-minutes).

We deserve to pour into our cups, and it doesn’t have to strip-away our energy in the process!

We can find workarounds that still help us feel better, to make this third trimester an easier and more joyful one, ONLY using the energy we have capacity for that day.

IT IS POSSIBLE.

♡

A wild ride of a journey heading into my third trimester of pregnancy, but as always, I am trying to keep my head held HIGH, and keep myself strong in the ways that I can, and the ways that make me FEEL GOOD!

As a COLLECTIVE of pregnant girlies, and just women in general, we ALL go through some level of this experience at some point in our pregnancies.

If you are going through anything like this, in WHICHEVER trimester you may be in, you are not alone!

Pregnancy is a lifechanging experience, that some of us didn’t actively choose to embark on, but IF we chose to continue, we owe ourselves even more grace and self-compassion to pick ourselves up where possible!

You don’t even realise the STRENGTH you possess.

Trust that you will feel better, and that these pregnancy blues are TEMPORARY, because YOU WILL get through and see brighter days.

I promise.

I hope this blog post has helped inspire you and helped stimulate ideas for how we can REACT to the emotional lows of pregnancy, so that we can all be happier girlies!

And as always, never forget…

Own your Womanhood. Own you Time.

♡

I’ll be logging updates throughout this whole journey as a mother-to-be, working to be an entrepreneur, but to also still preserve the girlhood within, to try and be her best self, and live her happiest life, so keep-up with me through the blog!

I release a new blog post every Friday at 1pm! (UK-time)

Let me know if you’re in a similar headspace (pregnant or not), being in our 20s is confusing, and taking control of our story is the only way we can take ownership of our happiness and live out our dream life.

I document my unwanted pregnancy journey at 25, taking control of my narrative, figuring out being a girl in my 20s, chasing my dream life, and conquering my boss babe dream of becoming a self-employed, entrepreneur / Blogger!