feeling INSECURE with pregnant body, in a bikini 👙

chapters:

• pregnant, and in a bikini!

• did I feel ashamed?

• inferiority complex during pregnancy

• the comfort zone

• tips to combat body insecurities pregnant

WOW, I must say… the AMOUNT OF RELATABILITY from other pregnant women, that I found online, was overwhelming!

IN a good way, because I felt like it was an even more common experience than I originally anticipated it to be.

It almost felt like EVERY GIRLIE GOES THROUGH THIS, whilst pregnant.

And of course, I know not EVERY girl does and I’m happy for those that don’t, but it definitely helps knowing that there is a FLOOD of other girlies going through the same as you, specially during such a vulnerable time of life, as pregnancy is!

From my personal searches on Google; to scout how COMMON it was to feel insecure with our body during pregnancy, I found a lot on:

• “feeling insecure pregnant”

• “is it normal to not like your body during pregnancy?”

• “how to not feel insecure while pregnant”

• “embarrassed to be in a bikini pregnant”

• “is it normal to feel embarrassed with pregnant body?”

In this blog post, I will be sharing all the TEA of my personal experience of feeling insecure with my pregnant body, in a bikini, whilst on a hot holiday!

outfit linked in my future blog post: what I wore on holiday pregnant in EGYPT! COMING SOON!

CURRENTLY, at the end of my second trimester, and my bump is looking like this:

Before we get into it, I just want to say you are BEAUTIFUL, and don’t let your pregnancy ever make you think otherwise.

It is normal to feel unattractive pregnant, have low self-esteem because of pregnancy, and almost even feel embarrassed with our pregnant bodies, but don’t let that CONSUME you. We won’t be pregnant forever.

I hope you find some relatability in my personal experience, and some value in the tips to combat any pregnancy insecurities you may be having (as I was) when on holiday, or not!

pregnant, and in a bikini!

So, I had my first-ever holiday pregnant recently to EGYPT! A hot and dreamy holiday!

I wrote all about how I packed for my first ever holiday pregnant here, and also about all the BEAUTY TIPS I implemented to have me feeling my most attractive and BEST SELF, whilst pregnant on holiday!

I will say, I didn’t give much thought to the idea of being in a bikini, pregnant, BEFORE the holiday.

I focused more on what I could do to feel as attractive as possible, with all the beauty and fashion things us girlies do, in the holiday prep!

However, the moment that the time came where I was taking off my bikini cover-up, it hit me…. “I’m about to be in a bikini, with a pregnant belly…”

I, personally, do sometimes struggle with body image WITHOUT being pregnant, because I either self-compare to other girls’ bodies, or because I feel I’m not looking like what I’d ideally like to, with my body image.

Let alone PREGNANT.

I will still say, I didn’t allow being pregnant to completely consume me in my holiday though, because after all:

1. IT’S NOT EVERYDAY that you are in a gorgeous paradise, enjoying life, AND

2. there are MORE IMPORTANT things, like having fun, focusing on relaxing as much as possible with my partner, and being in the moment, before baby joins us

However, it DID make me very aware as to the fact that this is a very REAL experience for girlies who are going through pregnancy, whether on a holiday or not!

All these thoughts did flood my mind, for a few seconds (I must admit):

• “that girl’s body is so much fitter than mine”

• “my partner will prefer their body appearance over mine / will find them more attractive than me / won’t find me or my body attractive”

• “can people SEE that I am pregnant, or does it just look like a big belly?”

ON TOP of these thoughts, I did get a momentary rush in feelings of insecurity, inferiority and jealousy, which I am NOT a fan of admitting BUT is the truth, and it’s okay!

Just to be as transparent as possible (since we were at quite a calm resort and it was quite off-peak) these feelings weren’t as intense as what they could be, than if we were in a more crowded or busier setting, since I feel like I would have more chances of feeling triggered to feel insecure with my pregnant body; the more girls would be around and POSSIBLY trigger me to self-compare.

Now, before you come for me, I am FULLY AWARE this is a reflection of my own insecurity during pregnancy, and I am the most supportive of other girlies and seeing them be their most gorgeous and authentic selves, but this experience is very unique to how I felt BECAUSE:

1. I am pregnant,

2. have never navigated such a dramatic body change as such, and

3. am still learning how to cope in improving my own body image during pregnancy.

I’m all for cheering other girlies on, and admiring their beauty! But it’s just the TRUTH that I would have been more likely to feel inadequate in my pregnant body, because I didn’t have that “bikini-ready body”, naturally.

Of course, I TRIED NOT TO allow myself to engage too much into this rabbit-hole of self-comparison with my pregnant body image, but it was something that did flutter onto the surface at-times, during my holiday pregnant.

MOST of the time, I was completely fine and having the most fun, but I’d say this was the ONLY thing that slightly threw-me off, during my holiday whilst pregnant.

So, I’d like to make you feel more reassured that girl, you are not the only one!

You could be the most secure and confident in your body, in your relationship, in yourself, and STILL feel this way.

Don’t worry…I’m here to tell you it’s normal and a VERY common experience during pregnancy.

did I feel ashamed?

I wouldn’t say “ashamed”, since I feel like that reflects too much intensity for how I TRULY felt, but I would definitely say there were times I felt: SELF-CONSCIOUS of my pregnant body.

By this, I mean, aware and mindful of how my body LOOKED; to myself, to my partner, to others.

This naturally does take you away from being present, and is why I wanted to share my experience and how we can try to combat this, so we can avoid having this experience of negative body image, during pregnancy, as much as possible; so we can enjoy life and be PRESENT.

Body comparison was the main drive that fueled my feelings of inadequacy in my pregnant body, along with the already-existing feeling of insecurity; more specifically: having a big belly.

Not being pregnant is already hard-enough for a girlie, let alone being pregnant, and not having wanted to even be pregnant TO BEGIN WITH.

There was a second or two, during my holiday pregnant, where I may have felt very slight resentment of how my body looked, since I never WANTED to be pregnant, but in that moment I HAD TO LET GO since that thought was not going to help or change anything (for the better, at least).

inferiority complex during pregnancy

As mentioned, even WITHOUT the comparison, or presence of other girls in bikinis with the perceived “fitter” bodies than my pregnant one, the concept of body inferiority is REAL and still very prominent.

After all, you spend most of your 20s looking relatively the same, or if not; you at least have more control over doing something about it. When pregnant though, ALL OF A SUDDEN you have a huge belly, which is usually not associated with being the most flattering kind-of body shape (nothing wrong with it, and we all have bellies as women, but personally, I always idealised a slim stomach).

I mean, it’s a TRANSITION.

A transition no one teaches you how to navigate or go through.

Feeling inferior with your pregnant body is something you only feel, or think about, once you go through it YOURSELF.

As an outsider, it’s easy to just see the person as for what they are going through, such as the remarks we so-often hear like:

• “her bump is bumping, she looks gorgeous, she’s glowing for two, that’s that pregnancy beauty”… and so on!

But when YOU are the one who’s pregnant, things look and FEEL very different.

Feelings of low self-esteem can emerge, and we can very easily be told to not worry about it, because we are “growing a human” inside of us, and what “a blessing it is”.

I’m not saying this is wrong, but it doesn’t solve the underlying feelings of insecurity we feel with our body, JUST BECAUSE we focus on the capability our bodies are demonstrating to us.

This is not to promote feelings of ingratitude, because it is truly astonishing HOW our bodies are capable of growing a human inside, all whilst living our daily lives as usual.

But, this is just to emphasise on the reality of how we feel vs how we get told to deal with it.

I’m here to change the narrative and let you know that:

• it is normal to feel insecure with our bodies during pregnancy

• there isn’t much we can PHYSICALLY do about it

• but you don’t have to just accept your pregnant body reality, and ignore your feelings

• INSTEAD: acknowledge how you feel, and TRY to make yourself feel better, and be graceful towards yourself by pouring into your self-love in non-physical ways

the comfort zone

I will go more into HOW we can try to make ourselves feel better, by combatting these feelings of insecurity with our pregnant bodies, but for now, I wanted to touch-on how our comfort zone can also have something to do with the feelings of unattractiveness, at-play, during pregnancy.

Besides body image, comparison, and learning how to navigate drastic changes through experience during pregnancy, I HAVE TO SAY that part of this is all about our comfort zone too.

One of the REASONS behind us feeling insecure pregnant in a bikini, or generally with our pregnant bodies, CAN BE because of how NEW the experience is.

I look at this in similar ways to how I speak about the BASIC fears I have as a first-time mum-to-be; those fears come from the awareness that I will be stepping out of my comfort zone in many ways, doing things I have never done before, with a baby.

Being pregnant in ITSELF is us stepping outside of our comfort zones, just by the simple fact that we cannot always predict how we will feel or react in our day-to-day lives, let alone how we will look or consequently feel about those IMAGE changes.

Let alone being in a bikini pregnant; it is a NEW EXPERIENCE, that will inevitably make us feel a bit uneasy, even if just momentarily.

I would like to think that being a first-time mum-to-be has something to do with the feelings of insecurity that come with my pregnant body, since for a girlie who has been pregnant multiple times, it may be way easier to navigate (whether it’s the knowing what to expect, being used to other people’s looks, or even just knowing how to navigate your own personal feelings better towards yourself, during pregnancy), I would ASSUME.

This is to really reinforce the idea that it is truly NORMAL and part of the process to feel insecure with your pregnant body, as it is normal to feel discomfort with ANY KIND OF CHANGE in life and in OURSELVES.

When we put it this way, it might feel slightly less alien-like to feel the way we feel, right?

Not that we should feel as if it is an alien-like feeling, but it might feel BETTER THAN what most people advise us; by simply taking a second to follow the natural LOGIC behind what creates these feelings.

tips to combat insecurities

We have gone through all the girl-talk about common feelings towards our pregnant bodies, my own personal experience of feeling insecure pregnant on holiday, in a bikini.

NOW:

Let’s talk solutions, or ACTIONABLE ways we can improve our body image pregnant, and make our experiences generally better during pregnancy.

Here’s my list of what I like to do to try combat any feelings of unattractiveness of pregnant body insecurities I may have, whether I’m in a bikini, or not:

the bikini I bought to help feel myself more, whilst pregnant on holiday! (One of my TIPS)

• reminding myself I have NO CONTROL over how my body looks or is, during pregnancy. It is unavoidable that our bodies will have to change, to grow a human, and I can’t do anything about it (physically).

• consequently, I have no control over OTHER PEOPLES’ JUDGEMENTS or looks. People will look, and I can’t change that.

• don’t always assume the worst. This reflects more your feelings of insecurity, than reality itself. Some people might actually be looking at you in a cute way or in an admirable way; maybe it’s even a couple who have been trying to get pregnant (you don’t know the reason or people’s backgrounds). Don’t always assume the worst, but also know, that even if it is, people’s opinions can’t touch or hurt you (unless they literally tell you, which can be quite hurtful and I mean, why would someone do something like that?).

• do ALL you can to do the things that make you feel your best. For me, this looked like all the low-maintenance beauty tips, I shared with you all, and buying a new bikini before my holiday which I thought was super aesthetic, and made me feel more confident (non-maternity bikini). IMAGE TO THE LEFT!

• if it makes you feel better, wear a one-piece swimsuit. There’s nothing wrong with changing your swimwear-style to adapt to how you might feel during pregnancy. Or even just packing one, as an alternative to a bikini, and then seeing how you feel (I did wish I packed one, since after leaving the pool, I did feel like my belly and rolls were bulging out from how the wet bikini hugged me, which didn’t make me feel my most attractive).

• YOU KNOW WHAT: if placing your hands around your belly to obviously show it is a pregnant belly, makes you feel more comfortable, then DO IT. It still felt a bit odd hugging my lower belly with my hands, but it did lower my feelings of self-consciousness a bit more when roaming my way around the beach and pool. Whether you are in your first or second trimester, it might feel like just a huge bloated belly, so if this helps you feel better, do it! Don’t feel ashamed!

• force yourself out of your head. Talk to yourself, aloud or not (as you prefer ahaha), and encourage yourself to accept what you are feeling but also NOT GET STUCK in those feelings. Feel it, and then tell yourself “okay, I am just going to focus on having fun now”. A practical way you can do this is by starting to focus on a specific things in your environment; maybe it’s how hot the sun is hitting your skin, or how fresh your drink is feeling in your mouth, or maybe just people-watching around you in a non-comparison kind-of way!

• flood your SELF with compliments. Even if it feels forced, just start saying it to yourself; positive self-talk can only make you feel better so why not give it a go? If you can’t come-up with anything; simply say “I am beautiful no matter what”; I PERSONALLY USED this one a lot!

• your pregnant body is temporary. The ULTIMATE reassurance that you won’t feel like this forever. Of course, postpartum body can be another topic, but at least YOU can have some more control over that particular transition, even if it comes with its own set of challenges and obstacles. You will be pregnant for less than a year! I’m saying it like this, since in the moment it feels like we are pregnant for the LONGEST, but actually it is less than one year of our lives, and is something that will go by quite fast, in the grander scheme of things! Soon enough, you will be able to actively have more independence over having your body back in whichever way you wish!

• there will always be someone prettier, and that doesn’t diminish my worth or beauty. THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. Pregnant or not, remind yourself sis.

These are all of the rock-solid tips I actively RELY-ON to get me through any feelings of insecurity with my pregnant body, whilst on holiday or not.

I hope these can help you too, even if only one of these tips provide you with a new perspective on how you look at yourself and your personal coping journey throughout navigating through transitions in our pregnant bodies, and how that might make us feel, at-times!

♡

The bottom-line: you are gorgeous girl! Don’t let pregnancy make you feel anything less-than that.

It is normal to feel insecure during pregnancy, in our body, in our relationships, in our SELF.

Pregnancy is a time that will test us, and challenge us, in many different ways, and this way is NO DIFFERENT.

It is more common than you think to feel this way. It only took me ONE Google search to see just HOW COMMON it truly is.

We can’t control everything in our pregnancies; we might actually have very little control overall, but there ARE things we can do to make these feelings feel less intense, and not consume us in totality.

I hope you have found reassurance and connection in this post, we are ALL in this TOGETHER!

Own your Womanhood. Own your Time.

♡

I’ll be logging updates throughout this whole journey as a mother-to-be, working to be an entrepreneur, but to also still preserve the girlhood within, to try and be her best self, and live her happiest life, so keep-up with me through the blog!

I release a new blog post every Friday at 1pm! (UK-time)

Let me know if you’re in a similar headspace (pregnant or not), being in our 20s is confusing, and taking control of our story is the only way we can take ownership of our happiness and live out our dream life.

I document my unwanted pregnancy journey at 25, taking control of my narrative, figuring out being a girl in my 20s, chasing my dream life, and conquering my boss babe dream of becoming a self-employed, entrepreneur / Blogger!